Girls' Night Ed
by Andyroid
Summary: The Kankers Sisters throw a slumber party, possibly against their better judgment. Are any of the other girls at Peach Creek Jr. High brave enough to go? Are any boys foolish enough to crash it? And will those who are live to regret it?


Girl's Night Ed, Part 1

"Girl's Night Ed"  
An _Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy_ fanfiction by Andy Anime

**OBLIGATORY LEGAL JUNK:** Ed, Edd, Eddy, and all the rest are trademarked property of AKA Cartoon and the Cartoon Network. The events and characters depicted in this fanfic are purely fictional. Any resemblance to any real person, place, or events is (probably) purely coincidental. Given that this fic is about the Kanker Sisters, I certainly hope it is... Anyway, on with the show!

It was a typical night in the Kanker's split-level trailer at the Flush & Go Trailer Park. That is to say, at least two of them were at each other's throats in a display that walked the thin line between typical sibling horseplay and attempted homicide. In this case, the argument was between May and Marie over channel control privileges.

"Gimme that remote! I wanna watch the new _America's Dumbest Pets Gone Bad_ special!" snapped Marie, trying to get her sister in a headlock.

"Forget it!" shouted the buck-toothed blonde, throwing her sister off the couch. "We're watching the season premiere of _American Eyesore_!"

Marie growled and dragged May off the couch, where the two sisters wrestled on the rug for the remote. As they fought, kicking up the trademark cartoonish cloud of dust, they didn't notice their sister Lee come in. Setting down the box she had been carrying under one arm, she dragged her siblings out of their big ball of violence and banged their heads together, simultaneously shutting them up and getting their attention.

"Listenin' to you two bicker was gettin' older than Mom's last boyfriend," she said gruffly as she set them down. "Now listen up! We Kanker Sisters are movin' up in the world."

May scratched her head, befuddled. "We're sleeping on the roof tonight?" Unseen behind her copious beehive, Lee rolled her eyes.

"She means socially, bucket-head." said Marie. "So what's the plan, Lee?"

"Glad you asked," said Lee. "Take a look at these!" She pulled a sheaf of fliers out of the box she'd brought in, and thrust a copy into the hands of each of her sisters. The crudely-drawn, crudely-lettered, and crudely-photocopied posters crudely advertised an only slightly crude event at the Kanker's trailer this coming Friday.

"We're throwing a slumber party?" said Marie, incredulous. "Those things are for sissies."

"Sissy, shmissy, I like the idea!" said May excitedly. "We can play games and make fun of bad movies and do our hair and our nails and talk about guys and..." **THWACK!**

"And learn when to quit flappin' that yap of yours." said Lee, tossing aside the skillet she had used to silence May's rambling. Once May had recovered from the blow, Lee continued "For now, I just need you two to help me put these flyers up around school tomorrow. Come Friday night, Casa Kanker is gonna be the place to be!"

"Oh, goodie!"

"Oh, alright. Whatever floats your coal barge, Lee.

* * *

"Morning brought a beautifully cool, clear, and crisp autumn day to Peach Creek. The sun shone brightly in a robin's-egg blue sky, illuminating the brilliant reds, yellows, and oranges and the muted browns of the fall foliage that hung from the trees like tiny abstract paintings, laid scattered across the lawns and streets like tiny shiftless college students relaxing in their dorms, and danced in the occasional breeze like tiny Renfaire participants who'd become cheerfully inebriated after too much mead.

All this was lost on Eddy as he begrudgingly trudged towards Peach Creek Junior High, his eyes towards his feet and a "who invented school?" scowl on his face. He completely failed to share the enthusiasm of the more scholarly Edd, who was drawn to learning like a fly to stink, and the happy-go-lucky Ed, who was going on and on about his plans to audition for the school play. If anything, it was like Eddy had shoveled his own enthusiasm onto his friends.

"...and I betcha I could act like the bestest actor that ever acted like an actor, right Double-Dee?"

"I suppose it's worth an attempt," said Edd diplomatically. "Though I must confess, I never thought you'd be interested in Shakespeare."

"Just listen to this!" Ed cleared his throat, and intoned as dramatically as he could manage, "To be or not tubby, that is the question! Whether the nobles of the mind can suffer the stings and arrows of Wheel of Fortune..."

"Don't quit your day job, Lumpy," growled Eddy, his paper-thin patience starting to wear out.

"Now Eddy," said Edd, grateful as he was that Eddy had stopped Ed from further mangling one of the greatest soliloquies in Shakespeare's _Hamlet_, "you could at least _try_ to be supportive of Ed's creative endeavors..."

"Since when has that been a good idea?!" snapped Eddy. "Did you not notice how every time we're 'supportive' of Lumpy's ferret-on-a-sugar-rush imagination, it ends in disaster? There was last Halloween, and that 'space monster' incident, and the so-called 'Curse of Evil Tim'..."

"Um, well, I admit Ed does have a bit of trouble reining in his... impulses... maybe this isn't such a good idea..."

"Aw, come on, you guys! I can be a good actor, for real this time."

"Remember the last time you were in the school play, Ed? All you had to do was run away from some kids in cheap animal costumes, and you couldn't even get that right!" Eddy suddenly began to mentally backpedal as he recalled last year's production of _The Wind In the Willows_, probably the only one in history where the big showdown at Toad Hall concluded with one of the rats trying to clobber Mole with a cardboard pillar and bringing the Toad Hall set down on everyone's heads. That had actually been pretty funny, especially since Eddy has been on the stage crew instead of the actual stage. It hadn't been quite as funny when he had to spend all night cleaning up his friend's mess, but it had been well worth it in Eddy's book.

"On second though," said Eddy, a wicked grinning slowly creeping across his face, "it might be worth a few laughs. Let's motor, Alec Witless!"

As Eddy dashed towards school with the prospect of Ed making himself look stupid to look forward to, Ed dashed behind, chattering "Oh boy! Oh goodie! Oh brave new world!", while Edd struggled to keep up, shouting after the other two, "Don't get too ahead of yourself, Eddy! Try-outs aren't until after school."

As they rushed to school, the Eds were blissfully unaware that just behind them, cackling excitedly and trailing papers from the wagon-load of fliers they bore with them, were the Kanker sisters. They had something besides alternately tormenting and romancing their "boyfriends" on their minds, but it would, in its own way, prove just as troublesome for the Eds.


End file.
